People Share Why They Cheated On Their Partner
What drives some people to cheat on their significant other? Reddit users tell us why they were led to break their partner's trust
How do you explain that you cheated on somebody? In order to better understand what pushes some people to break the trust of their partner, we have compiled stories of people who have one day taken the plunge and told other Reddit users about their experiences:
#1 Insecurity is One of the Main Reasons for Cheating
Many people who cheat because of self-esteem issues and insecurities have loving and supportive partners who offer compassion and encouragement. A man tells his experience:
"Almost a year later I dont know why I did it. Maybe it was because I didnt trust her. Maybe it was because I am insecure. Truth is I have no idea, but I feel really bad about it. I told her and we broke up. Later she wanted to get back together, but I couldn't. I still loved her but what I did deserves no forgiveness. Worst decision/ feeling ever."
[ Sevsublime via Reddit ]
"I was a chronic cheater. I was acting on my needs for multiple s*xual partners, but I didn't have a model of how to do it ethically until I was in my 30's. Once I discovered the polyamory model and began to live it, all of my cheating stopped. That's part of the reason I'm so open about poly now and why I talk about it so much - I wish someone had told me about this model when I was 17. I could have saved years of heartache! Alternatively, I suppose I could have thought up the poly model on my own, but I don't consider myself intelligent enough to do that.
Regarding cheating up or cheating down: looking at it that way is disgusting. No one is better than or worse than another."
[searedscallops via Reddit]
#3 Lack of Attention
"Wasn't happy with my partner. He didn't give me the attention - mentally, emotionally or physically that I needed. I loved him, but I felt like he kept me around to pass the time.
My best friend though, he gave me all the attention I needed & made me feel like the se*iest woman in the world.
My ex made me feel like a s*x toy."
[weekendoffender via Reddit]
#4 Women Are Not the Only Ones who Suffer From a Lack of Attention from Their Partner
"In my situation, it was ignorance. I sent nudes to a girl within a week of the relationship. It felt good for someone who doesn’t get a lot of attention to get it from two people. My friends around me always talked about playing the field but i was never one to do that, or rather i never had the chance. The truth is when it happened I didn’t know or value what a relationship was. (This was My first ever and i was 16) I really hurt someone who fell head over heels for me. And instead of ending it i looked to protect myself from losing that person who was like my No.1 fan. But at 6months into our relationship i really fell in love with her, i was disgusted by what I had done to this amazing woman and..."
What happened next?
"I told her. She decided to let me have another chance however realising the pain I had caused someone i had truly fallen completely in love with i broke up with her a few months later because i knew she needed to but didn’t have the strength to. That didn’t last and we then stayed together for a year and i tried every day to let her trust me and to make her feel special and beautiful. It didn’t work however and a 15months after I told her, she ended it. Its caused me great pain because she apparently fell out and in love with me many times and fell out a bit before she ended it."
[Lugos-Seeker via Reddit]
#5 Lack of Control
"I had a crazy boyfriend who attempted to control me from afar. If he didn't know what I was doing or where I was 24/7, he would spam call me and "like" comments/photos/etc on facebook and message my friends. In addition, he was a loser who lived at home with his mom with no job, while I was working and going to school. I always had to drive to him (an hour + drive) because he had no money and no car. I broke up with him several times, only to get suckered back in because he would threaten to kill himself.
Basically, his controlling, psycho-mindgame attitude drove me to cheat on him. I have nightmares about him still."
[pewpton via Reddit]
"I used to have a bad habit of letting relationships drag on far past their emotional end. I would fall out of love with these men, but I didn't realize it until I had fallen for someone else, and by that time I was contemptuous and disillusioned enough with the relationship that I didn't really care how it made the guy I was dating feel. I would end up kissing the new guy, and breaking up with the old guy immediately after. Essentially the cheating served as the catalyst for ending a relationship. I finally recognized this habit, and now I pay more attention to how I feel in a relationship and break it off once it's clearly over instead of hanging on out of routine and comfort."
[ [deleted] via Reddit ]
"Things weren't going well with my SO, I was watching a movie alone in my apartment with a cute girl from work (it was a restaurant gig, not a long-term job, so I wasn't too worried about it), and she gave me this look that was begging me to kiss her, so I did, and the rest just kind of happened. I'm not especially proud of that, and I broke up with my SO shortly afterward. I did find out later that my SO had been sleeping over with another guy, which I'd suspected at the time, but that's still no justification on my part; cheating is cheating."
[nostalgicBadger via Reddit]
"I was happy in my relationship, completely in love, but for some reason I had a nagging thought of "what if I had been with this other guy?" The other guy was a friend, and we had feelings back and forth for a while. The curiosity got to me in a weak moment, and we got together once. Frankly, the s*x wasn't that great, probably because the whole situation felt wrong to me.
I regretted it immediately, and felt horribly guilty. I eventually broke up with my boyfriend and told him about the cheating. We later got past it and got back together (not together anymore for different reasons).
Today, I do not regret it. If nothing else, it taught me how important my relationship was. It also taught me how horrible I felt betraying someone I love."
[tr33hugger20 via Reddit]
#9 Lack of Commitment
"I was not very invested in my relationship, and was quickly starting to think that it would end in not too long. My best friend, who I was 100% in love with, was visiting me in town. We hooked up, and it was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. I felt no guilt. I would have done it again if she had stayed in town longer. I never told my boyfriend. I do not regret it to this day, however in the future I would dump someone if I didn't care about them enough to be in that situation."
[tr33hugger20 via Reddit]